Woah now. Two new entries in less than a week? The world must be ending. Or something. I don't even know haha. I promise this entry will be much more reader-friendly than the last one was. Sometimes I just need to vent and get things out in the open so I don't drive myself more insane than I already am. I have a really, REALLY bad habit of not addressing problems and things that make me mad. I just let things bottle up inside me and then some little, insignificant thing will set me off and it just doesn't end well at all. I think I'm good for a bit now, though.

Good things in life right now:

- All Time Low concert in 3 freaking days. And we have a meet & greet. And the venue holds roughly 225 people. I'M SO FUCKING EXCITED. Except for the part where I have to drive into the depths of Detroit and pray we don't get shot. Did I mention the venue is in some dirty little club on 8 mile? I'm fucking stoked. It's gonna be incredible.

- Wrockstock in 2 weeks. I'd like to say I'll be totally ready to go in exactly 2 weeks, but let's not kid ourselves. I'll probably still be doing laundry until 2am and then frantically packing so I can leave the house by 430am. I feel like a real adult with this trip. My parent are going to be gone so I have to make reservations and get the dogs to the kennel, get myself to the airport on time, and then back home again. Yikes. The only thing really freaking me out is that I'm gonna have to leave one of the cars at the airport while I'm gone. I know I still have 2 weeks left, but I can't find anyone to take me to the airport the morning I have to leave. Plenty of people can pick me up when I get home, but no one can take me there. Meh. I'll figure it out.

- I have an interview tomorrow at Bath & Body Works for a key holder/sales leader position. I hope it goes well because the location is just down the road from the mall I worked at when I was with American Eagle and is a heck of a lot closer than the mall I currently work at. I don't want to jinx anything, and I'm not getting my hopes up just in case. But it would be nice to have a job I actually like working at.

Bad things in life right now:

- I have a killer stomach ache right now. I'm gonna blame the fact that I've been eating WAY too much fast food lately. It's really hard to not eat it all the time when McDonalds is really my best option for food at work, unless I want to spend $8 on a really shitty piece of pizza. No, thanks.

- In less than 4 days, I've been in two "accidents" (if you can even call them that). Friday afternoon on my way home from work, this little old lady backed into the truck in a parking lot. There was no damage at all on my end, but she broke a tail light. Tuesday night I was coming home from meeting my friend Jessica at Starbucks, and while I was at a stoplight another little old lady ran right into the truck. Once again, no damage on my end except for a slightly dented bumper and a few paint scratches from her car. Oh and the fucking giant bruise forming on my shoulder from the seatbelt. Yeah. Neither lady wanted insurance information from me, thankfully. They're both just going to bite the bullet and admit to backing into a lamp post, or a hit-and-run in a parking lot or something. Whatever. It's just one of those things where I have to sit back and shake my head and wonder what I did to piss off whatever higher power is watching over me right now.

- THE STUPIDEST SHIT ALWAYS HAPPENS TO ME AT WORK. I don't even understand it. It's always when I'm the closing manager, and it's always something I was never trained to deal with because my training STILL isn't completed. A few weeks ago it was a register shortage, last week it was damaged shipment boxes, tonight it was a power outage. So I call my manager and what does she tell me to do? Look up the loss prevention guidelines in the LP section of our data storage. Which is on the computer. Which doesn't work because THERE'S NO POWER. So next she tells me to go into the back corner of the stock room where we have the filing cabinet that holds all of our training documents and other random info. There's no safety lighting in the stock room. My cell phone is dead. My closing associate is on the phone with another manager. We don't have a flashlight. How the fuck am I supposed to see to find anything? We got it sorted out eventually, but still. Come on now. Why does this always happen to me?

- I'm supposed to have a coaching job this season for winter guard, but the coach from our other high school who is "in charge" of getting everything together still hasn't sent me any of the info for the season, or told me whether or not we actually HAVE a winter guard to coach. We were waiting on approval from the boosters and the school, and I haven't heard anything in 2 weeks from anyone.

ANYWAY. That's my life in a nutshell right now. I'm gonna go stretch before I crawl into bed because my body hates me right now. I've been so tense and stressed the past few days that all my muscles are tensing up and I hurt a LOT.
<3

So. It's been a while. I always fall into this slump of never updating any blog I have unless I need to vent or complain about something. Things are going alright actually, but I still feel like I'm in a very low point of my life. I'm going to be 23 in 2 1/2 months, I'm still working a shitty part time job, and I'm still not back in school. And when I sit back and look at a lot of the kids I went to school with, or anyone else really that's around my age, I feel like a bit of a failure. Sure, there's a good chunk of my graduating class that got knocked up and had 2 kids before their 21st birthday, and another part that has basically fallen off the face of the earth with no trace at all. But there's also the majority of them that have gone on to other schooling, graduated, and are in the process of successfully working their way into the real world. All the while I'm still living at home with my parents, spending most of my time running around the internet and trying to convince myself that I'm actually worth the time people have wasted on me.

I don't know. I know there are a handful of people that care about me to some extent, and I really could be worse off than I am, but I'm really just not happy with where I am right now. I want out of here. I feel like I need a fresh start in some new place where no one knows who I am so I can put the past few years behind me. I've been getting discouraged really easily lately as well. I don't know why, but I'll get an idea of a project I want to start working on or a goal to reach, and then some little detail will get me convinced that I'm never going to make it to where I want it to be.

I've had my fair share of good days and fantastic new experiences this year as well, but they keep getting overshadowed by the down times. I don't know. I really just don't know. I'm not looking for pity or for people to tell me that things will get better, but some reassurance about my life would be fantastic right about now. I keep looking for a solution to the problems, but get distracted along the way with a momentary escape. And as much as I appreciate the escape sometimes, it almost feels like it's not worth it in the long run.

Sticky Notes and Situations

I'm almost out of sticky notes, and that's slightly depressing. Don't judge me, I've worked almost 65 hours already this week and still have about 10 hours left to go today before I'm done. Needless to say, I'm a little loopy and it's apparently quite amusing to other people.

Today is another one of those days where everything that can go wrong has, and it's my job to take care of it regardless of the fact that I have nothing to do with half of the things that are going on right now. Let's make a quick list, shall we?
1) The receptionist/cashier at the Hyundai store had to go home sick, so I'm answering phones and dealing with salesmen for both stores.
2) Both of the porters are currently MIA and not answering their cell phones, and are needed by 4 different people.
3) The weather sucks and it's the end of the month, so both stores are crazy busy.
4) Our new Kia store is opening today, so anyone that actually matters in this company is there. Meaning we can't get ahold of anyone we need to when something goes wrong.
5) I don't even know if I'm supposed to work at AE tonight, and no one there knows how to answer a freaking phone.
6) I'm far too emotinally invested in a situation here which is stressing me out more than all of the above problems and making me extra cranky when he comes over here for various things. I'm going to steal Hayley's naming process and call him The Situation. It's just easier that way.
7) My mother is currently Facebook stalking/chatting me while I'm at work.
8) WHY DOES NO ONE AROUND HERE KNOW HOW TO ANSWER A PHONE?! OHMYGODIMGOINGTOKILLSOMEONE.

*ahem*

Yeah, today is going to be just fan-freaking-tastic. Organizing things into lists makes me happy though, so let's continue with that, shall we? Good things going on right now:

1) Our new Kia store is opening, so anyone important is there. Meaning I don't have to deal with watching my back to make sure I don't get caught being online.
2) The Situation keeps coming over here for various things, and never fails to make me smile even when I'm annoyed with him.
3) ........there is no #3. That's it.

So today isn't TOTALLY sucktastic, but it's pretty damn close. On top of the mess that is my work life, the weather sucks today so naturally every joing and muscle in my body hurts and moving is kind of difficult. Regardless of everything going on, I'm in a relatively good mood. All of this overtime is going to be very good for my bank account even though what's left of my sanity is suffering.

OH. OH. OH!!! I CAN'T BELIEVE I ALMOST FORGOT ABOUT THIS. OHMYGOD. In exactly 2 weeks, I will be in Chicago with Julie and we will be on the way to see Something Corporate. I AM SO EXCITED. HOLY CRAP. The Situation wants to go with us, which would be fantastic, but I don't know if it's going to happen. It would be nice, but probably not a good idea. Eh. We'll see.

That's it for now, I suppose. Feel free to FB chat me or text me today. I could use a little love from friends.

Tonight's about me and an old memory.

For those of you that know where that title line came from, no I'm not at the bar with a bottle of Jose Cuervo, although that doesn't sound like a bad alternative right now. For those of you that don't get it, go search Jose Cuervo by Tracy Byrd on youtube and then please feel free to laugh at the fact that my life is usually one giant cliche country song. I wish I could find the actual music video for the song because it is HILARIOUS, but the studio version will work fine for now.

Tequila and bad country music aside, last night was really about an old memory. I went on a date with my ex who I haven't actually seen since last summer sometime, but we still text occasionally. Dinner was great. We went to TGI Friday's, which is always a favorite, and things were going well. After a bit of playful banter I decided that since I had picked where to meet for dinner that he had to pick what we were doing next, which ended up being going to see a movie. We get to the theatre around 10:15 and decide that our best choice is to wait about an hour and come back around 11:30 to have more choices since we couldn't decide what to see. We went to a bar just down the street from the theatre, ordered drinks, and thats' where things started to get a bit rocky.

I ordered my usual (captain and coke) and he ordered the same, which should be fine. If you've never ordered a mixed drink at a bar, you would be a bit surprised that they're not exactly a decent size. I finished my drink in about 10 minutes, dragging it out as long as I could because after 15 minutes he had only taken one tiny sip of his. I asked him what was wrong with it, and his response was "I hate captain and coke, I never drink it" to which I snapped back "Well then why did you order it?" He took another small sip and said "Because you ordered it, why else?". Okay. Now I don't mind when people get the same thing somewhere because they actually like it and plan on drinking/eating/using it. But to get something just because someone else does always bothers me, whether it's drinks at the bar or a pair of jeans at the mall. And especially when you're out on a date you need to man up and make your own decisions.

He has this annoying (unfortunately not annoyingly cute, just plain annoying) habit of making me argue with him because he thinks it's cute when we argue, which after a while ends up pissing me off more than anything else. After an hour of sitting there with his drink still unfinished in front of him, I got up and said "I'm going to the bathroom, and when I get back your drink will be finished and we're leaving for the movie." I got back, the drinks were gone and paid for, and we left.

We got to the theatre, and he naturally made a huge debacle out of the movie choices because now there was "too much to choose from" and he didn't want to make me see something I wouldn't like. At this point, his attempt at playful arguing had turned into me just being pissed off and him making a failing attempt to flirt his way back onto my good side. He finally decided on Kick-Ass, we got our tickets, and sat down in the theatre. The movie itself was pretty good. I wouldn't advise it for a 'date' movie unless both of you are into that kind of thing and are in good standings with each other. Y'know that stupid thing guys do at the movies when they either want to hold your hand or put their arm around you? Yeah. Both of those happened several times and were even more obnoxious each time it happened.

By the end of the night I was sadly reminded why I just can't stand him. Things go okay for a bit, but he just doesn't know when to stop when it comes to flirting and making me laugh and just being nice and a gentleman. I was expecting to have a nice night out and come away wanting to spend more time with him, but instead I just came home annoyed and pissed off and not wanting anything to do with him. Which is what happens every time we get together. I don't know why I expect anything different. Ugh.

ANYWAY. Horrible date stories aside, my MacBook is at the Apple store getting about 283728 things fixed/replaced on it which will be good eventually but I HATE using this stupid PC. Thankfully it won't be for much longer. That's about it.

Next time I promise I'll update with something more reader-friendly haha. I just needed to get that out of my head and onto paper....sort of. Yeah. Going now.

So I made it 2 days before failing miserably at my sad attempt to keep up with those blog memes. Oops.



It's been a long few weeks at work, and even though I've been going to bed around 9pm most nights, I'm still exhausted. Thankfully I think I have both schedules worked out so that I won't have to work at more than one job per day, with the exception of an occasional Tuesday or Saturday. Currently, I'm sitting at my desk at the dealership wishing I was still in bed. Due to the absolutely fantastic communication skills everyone around here possesses, I didn't know I had to be here today until I got a frantic call because our part-time cashier didn't have keys or access to anything she "needed" to get going for the day. Either our office manager forgot to give her the extra keys or she forgot to tell me that I had to be here, but either way I was not too thrilled to start out my morning to the chaos of "WHERE ARE YOU I DON'T HAVE KEYS FOR THE CASH DRAWER OR ACCESS TO THE SAFE FOR THE DEPOSIT MONEY AND I CAN'T GET AHOLD OF DANIELLE AND TY DOESN'T KNOW ANYTHING AND WHERE ARE YOU IT'S 9:04AM I THOUGHT YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE HERE AT 9:00AM WHERE ARE YOU I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO."



I'm being a bit defiant today because it's Saturday and I was supposed to have the day off but I'm here, and service is ridiculously slow. So I have ESPN on the TV in the lounge and I'm telling customers the remote doesn't work when they complain about watching sports, I'm on Twitter, Blogger, and Tumblr when I'm not supposed to use social networking sites for anything, and I'm leaving to get lunch in about 20 minutes when I'm not supposed to leave at all on Saturdays. Guess who cares today? Not me. All I have to do is remember to clear my browser history before I leave haha.



Anyway. I'm going to try either later tonight when I get home or tomorrow if I don't work at AE to get things lined up for these meme things so I can actually do them without missing a few days again. Or weeks. Whatever.

Alsooooooo I might FINALLY be getting an iPhone =D! My parents are switching service providers and if they got with ATT then I'm going to get it. If they go to Verizion, I might still get one and take another plunge into adulthood and have my own cell phone bill. *gasp* We'll see. Either way, I need a new phone because the screen on mine is horribly cracked. If you follow me on DailyBooth at all you'll have already seen a picture of it, but the picture doesn't do it justice. It's cracked to the point that it takes me about 5 minutes to read a text message because I keep having to switch layouts and piece words together. It's rather obnoxious.

Well I think that's it for my whining and complaining today. I'm hopefully going shopping with my mom after work, and when I get home from that I'll try to piece things together and get posts lined up for the memes and then I can actually do those. Ha. For now it's back to trying to beat my solitaire high score and getting hit on by creepy old men that think they're hilarious. My life is awesome.

<3

Day two: Your favorite movie

I always hate the "favorite" questions. I feel like they're asking me to make a definite choice that I can't go back on. Anyways. Movies. I hate making a decision for this, so I'm going to cheat and narrow it down into favorites by categories. Ha.

Favorite Musical: Mamma Mia

Favorite Chick Flick/Romantic Comedy: Nick & Norah's Infinite Playlist

Favorite Action Movie: The Dark Knight

Favorite Disney Movie: Beauty and the Beast

And we won't talk about the fact that that list was 10 categories but I forced myself to cut it down to 4. Oh my life.

I really want to try to watch more movies this year. If you guys have any suggestions for what I should watch, leave me a comment and let me know!

Let's try this again, shall we?

I'm going to make an attempt to complete two blogging memes at the same time. Luckily for me, both entries for the first day are the same. One of the memes is completely music related, and I'm going to be posting those entries on my Tumblr in addition to the regular blog-like entries for the second meme which I'll be posting here. I'll try to link to my Tumblr post every day as well,

Day 1: Your favorite song.

Without a question, it's Cavanaugh Park by Something Corporate. It has been since the first time I heard the song 7 years ago, and it will be for quite a long time. Click here for a video of the song, if you'd like to listen to it.

If you'd like to do either of these at any point, or want to see what's coming up during the next month, I posted a list for the music one on my tumblr and the list for this one is as follows:

Day 01 — Your favorite song
Day 02 — Your favorite movie
Day 03 — Your favorite television program
Day 04 — Your favorite book
Day 05 — Your favorite quote
Day 06 — Whatever tickles your fancy
Day 07 — A photo that makes you happy
Day 08 — A photo that makes you angry/sad
Day 09 — A photo you took
Day 10 — A photo of you taken over ten years ago
Day 11 — A photo of you taken recently
Day 12 — Whatever tickles your fancy
Day 13 — A fictional book
Day 14 — A non-fictional book
Day 15 — A fanfic
Day 16 — A song that makes you cry (or nearly)
Day 17 — An art piece (painting, drawing, sculpture, etc.)
Day 18 — Whatever tickles your fancy
Day 19 — A talent of yours
Day 20 — A hobby of yours
Day 21 — A recipe
Day 22 — A website
Day 23 — A YouTube video
Day 24 — Whatever tickles your fancy
Day 25 — Your day, in great detail
Day 26 — Your week, in great detail
Day 27 — This month, in great detail
Day 28 — This year, in great detail
Day 29 — Hopes, dreams and plans for the next 365 days
Day 30 — Whatever tickles your fancy

I hope you guys like this! And I hope it gets me into a regular blogging habit. Either that, or I'll just hate it and never blog again haha.